Initially I
was awed by the profound analysis of the co-addict’s change process. Certainly it was more thorough than my
initial musings about the change process. I was reminded of the Prochaska and
DiClemente “Stages Of Change”, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and the stages of grief,
Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs and the basic 12 step AA and Alanon process. Knowing
about these theories made this chapter much more understandable, but I don’t
want to be dismissive of this work.
The authors
made a detailed analysis of the avalanche of possible behaviors and emotional
states and made sense out it. No matter
how much they drew on existing thinking that was a substantial achievement. Both a therapist and a partner can use the clarity
they brought to understanding the process.
In my experience the mind is a very flexible and adaptable being. Although
the neurological pathways of the brain may be mapped, the responses and adaptations
of an individual are not so easily predicted. Scientists are just beginning to appreciate
the extent of the mind’s capacities. Those
of who have had the privilege of observing the considerable positive healing
and changes some people experience are deeply affected by that. That experience has enhanced my sense of spirituality.
No
explanation can capture all of the complexity.
But the detail of description serves to make the natural chaos of the
process intellectually manageable. Carnes
and Tripodi express a consistent message of encouragement. They presented how it works. That is possible to come to terms with these
issues. They present a rational reason
to believe the partner can heal, grow and be more mature and strong. The trauma can be an opportunity to grow and
mature.
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